"I realized I've been following the 'good girl' rules my entire career: Wait to be recognized. Don't ask for too much. Make others comfortable. Be grateful for what you get."
This epiphany from a client during our brand positioning work struck a chord. Despite her extraordinary expertise, she'd been unconsciously dimming her light to fit expectations.
Does this resonate with you too?
The Unwritten Rules
Many accomplished women discover they've been operating under unwritten rules that were never designed for their advancement:
Rule #1: Wait to be recognized The belief that good work speaks for itself and seeking recognition is inappropriate.
Rule #2: Don't outshine others The pressure to minimize accomplishments to maintain relationships.
Rule #3: Prioritize harmony over advancement The expectation that maintaining peace matters more than advocating for yourself.
Rule #4: Be grateful for any opportunity The constraint against negotiating for better terms or conditions.
Rule #5: Support don't lead The pattern of enabling others' success while downplaying your own ambitions.
These rules aren't explicitly taught, yet they're powerfully internalized through subtle reinforcement throughout our careers. I've seen how they constrain even the most accomplished women I work with.
The Strategic Positioning Impact
These unwritten rules directly undermine strategic positioning by:
- Limiting how visibly you express your expertise
- Constraining how you articulate your unique value
- Restricting how boldly you pursue opportunities
- Reducing how confidently you present your capabilities
They create an invisible ceiling that no amount of expertise alone can break through.
The Professional Liberation
The professional transition many women seek isn't just about a new role or venture – it's about breaking the "good girl" rules that have silently shaped their careers.
As my client Sarah shared: "I realized these rules were keeping me small. I was asking permission for things I should have been claiming outright."
This realization was the beginning of her professional liberation.
Strategic Rule-Breaking for Professional Growth
I've found that strategic positioning becomes an act of liberation – giving yourself permission to:
Break Rule #1: From waiting to be recognized to strategically positioning your expertise:
Replace "I hope someone notices" with "I want to highlight my contribution." Recognition isn't a gift bestowed; it's a strategic outcome you create.
Break Rule #2: From minimizing accomplishments to owning your impact:
Replace "We did this" with "I led this initiative which resulted in..." Your achievements aren't a threat to others; they're evidence of your value.
Break Rule #3: From harmony at all costs to strategic boundaries:
Replace "I'll make it work" with "Here's what I can commit to." Boundaries aren't selfish; they're necessary for sustainable impact.
Break Rule #4: From gratitude only to value negotiation Replace "Thank you for the opportunity" with "I'm excited about this opportunity and here's what I need to deliver exceptional results." Negotiation isn't greedy; it's professional value alignment.
Break Rule #5: From supporting to leading:
Replace "How can I help?" with "Here's what I propose we do." Leadership isn't presumptuous; it's the natural expression of your expertise.
A Liberation Story
A client who had built her career supporting executives finally launched her own consultancy. Despite her exceptional capabilities, she initially priced her services far below market value and positioned herself as "helping" clients rather than leading transformative work.
Through our strategic positioning work, she identified the "good girl" rules constraining her business, developed language that positioned her as the strategic expert, and established pricing that reflected the true value of her expertise.
The result wasn't just a more successful business—it was professional liberation. As she described it: "I'm no longer asking for a seat at the table. I'm building my own table."
This shift wasn't just good for her—it was good for her clients too, who finally received the full benefit of her strategic capabilities.
Your Strategic Liberation Plan
Breaking these rules doesn't mean becoming aggressive or inauthentic. It means recognizing which rules you've been unconsciously following, understanding how they limit your professional positioning, and developing strategic approaches to transcend these limitations.
Which rule are you ready to break? What's one small step you could take this week to begin your professional liberation?
★ Ready to step into your nex chapter? Book a free discovery call with me today.
